What is reality? Is there actually any such thing as reality? Is your subjective view and what you perceive to be reality different to everyone elses? Even if you play with perceptual positions and Think Through Another Persons Eyes to evaluate a situation from another persons perspective, do you see, hear, or feel reality (if there is one), in the same way as they do? If there is no singular reality, but actually just our individual perception of the world around us (assuming a world actually exists), how do we generate that perception?
As I’ve found out there are some concepts that you can come to grips with quickly and easily and some that are more complex and take longer. My husband has at times been known to ask for documentary evidence of my PhD when I get challenged by particularly simple concepts! When I first started studying NLP, there was one particular concept that I had a tough time coming to terms with – perception is projection.
In the simplest terms perception is projection means that if you can see something in another person(s) then you must have it within you and you are projecting it on to them. If it wasn’t within you then how would you be able to recognise it? When we judge others as being arrogant, opinionated, sarcastic, lacking in self-esteem, or any other not so charming description, we are actually recognizing a part of ourselves. The other person is simply reflecting that element of you like a mirror. Those traits and behaviours which you find unfathomable or downright annoying in others are often a reflection of your own biggest weaknesses. Lately I’ve noticed I get really impatient with people (and there’s been more than one) that talk too much, I am just dying for them to get finished so I can either say what I need to say or simply enjoy the silence. Perhaps I need to think on that a little….!!
What others do or how they act is their choice, but it is up to each of us how we perceive their behaviour. You will see in people whatever you unconsciously expect to see, and you will only perceive things that you have in you. Whatever we each focus on, remember energy follows where your attention goes, we then project onto others in terms of how we want them to act. Once your judgment of that person comes to your conscious attention, it is your projection. So instead of judging other people too quickly, make sure you are giving them a fair chance and consider what it is that you yourself are projecting.
So if you feel the urge to change other people’s behavior, then it would seem that the most the most sensible place to start would be with changing yourself…… “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein
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