You can wish someone a ‘nice day‘ while your tone tells them you really don’t wish them that at all.
#2 The meaning of communication is the response you get: whatever you think you communicated, if you get a different response than you expected then of course it’s that response that’s important. Both parties involved have 100% responsibility for communication.
If someone is offended by a remark you made, or something you wrote in an email, it doesn’t matter that you meant to make them laugh. It only matters that they are now offended.
#3 There is no failure, only feedback: it’s all about learning, valuing feedback and moving on. Feedback is an incredibly powerful tool, if you have the sense and humility to grab it with both hands and use it to help you change your behaviour.
When you take responsibility for the effectiveness of your communication, when you have not achieved your desired result and didn’t persuade someone to do what you hoped, that is useful information. It tells you that the way in which you have communicated so far hasn’t worked. The challenge is to find a way that does work.
#4 If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different: the more flexible your approach, the more willing you are to flex and adapt your behaviour to attempt every route possible, then the more chance you have of reaching your goal.
Adapting your approach, as ALL exceptional communicators do, is the key to getting different results and achieving success.
#5 In any system the person with the most flexibility will control the system: otherwise know as The Law of Requisite Variety. If there is a behaviour you can’t or won’t do, then that will limit the results you can achieve.
When you are flexible, ready and willing to try different things or different routes to communicate then the more likely you will be to successfully convince, motivate, influence, persuade or even inspire others to follow your ideas.
What do you believe is the key to successful communication?
[Picture credit – NLP THIRTEEN]
Related articles on NLP13 you may be interested in for further reading:
- The Building Blocks of NLP: The Presuppositions
- Maximum Flexibility = Maximum Success
- Stress Busting: 5 Top NLP Tips
Related articles from other bloggers:
- Communication Is The Key To Success (futurelawyer.typepad.com)
- ‘Outstanding’ teachers – It’s not what you say; it’s the way that you say it! (nlpwithnlp.wordpress.com)
- 3 Keys to Intelligent Communication (josoftblog.wordpress.com)
- 10 Best and 10 Worst Communicators of 2012 (mryoungscholar.com)